today had the first econs test in my life... last nite i slept at 530am after ET left... so greatful to him for teaching me the whole of last nite, but i dunno how to show my gratitude... haiz think i'm so bor-chap and look too tired le ba... i hope tis is my first, last and only time i'm nt sleeping at all b4 a test... kinda regret staying up until so late juz to pia for an econ quiz... but no choice cuz it has high weigtage - 30%, and tis 30% is much easier to score than the real exams... plus i juz cant rest peacefully wif an empty brain... like my mind is juz EMPTY! haiz why did i end up having to pia until so late? i guess all i can conclude is my tuition has caused me to haf no time to stduy, plus my stupidity and lack of understanding for econs concepts, i juz find it so hard to rmb... so much to regurgitate cuz i dun understand e concept, den during the test i felt so tired, like my brain has sort of stopped functioning... brain block... wadeva i read juz dun register... now i understand why pple say they can't think during exams... but still can find some familiar qns, but thank God my spirit prompting was strong, so most of my ans are based on gut feeling cuz i seriously dunno how to apply those concepts... and worse still, i was battling wif my conscience whether to cheat or not cuz i alrdy had planned to cheat... how sinful u are! haiz... and worse still, actually promised to go DG, but decided not to cuz wanted to study for econs... STUPID econs! caused me to compromise my time tat shld be devoted to God! actually its all my own fault lah... if i'm prepared enuff, den can go de, haven been prayerful enuff abt evangelism and kinda rejected when try to ask yj to go for GIG... haiz... God teach me to know my priorities again and put u first...
juz b4 e quiz, denise msg me to tell me tat her amaths prelims got A1! haha so encouraging :) its her own hard work plus God's grace upon me and her... then as i saw e msg, i was like wad abt my own econs test later? haiz... who can save me for schwork when i can help my students... but i know God u're faithful to send ET to help me... tat he offered even cuz God u noe tat i'm always too shy to ask... i seriously need to get down to work to study based on wadeva was in my brain... need an econs tutor... hope ET can cont helping me or i wld ask grace... den for my other modules and lab reports, i guess i'll juz try my best to do, although i rmb yesterday during bs 104 comp prac, i really dunno wad to do... close to feeling tears to my eyes... like its been so long since i last cried...
"...for your Grace is sufficient for me..." says the Lord...
"i can do all things through Him who gives me strength". AMEN!
God, thank you for your promises and comforting words... but i'm such an unfaithful servant, but You are so faithful... u said i did not choose u but You've alrdy chosen me... how unworthy i am for you and yet u did not despise me even when i am so sinful... God... is uni life gonna be another round of trial and 'suffering'? but nw lookin back JC life, i'm thankful for wad i've learned and tat i can use my experience to motivate my tuitees...
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