abt hall + school + family

recently more inspired to wanna blog more becos alot of thots coming and gg thr my mind... thots tat were refreshing at least showing tat i'm still not tensed up by the no. of days left b4 1st paper... somehow its always liddat. i pray tat its tis inner peace from u, God...

i've made up my mind to want to stay hall next sem becos i realised i'm better adapted here alrdy. seriously, my heart goes cold when i thot of the daily traveling, esp the morning classes, and even on sat since my course is more or less confirm need to sacrifice more social life de. so today checked my points, realised tat i've 82 pts, slashed from 103. i pray tat i can stay... and preferably get back same room cos i'm so used to the convenience of the toilet and pantry. and the silence since i still dunno my neighbours... lol.. many pple say they cant study in hall. for me true to a small extent, becos i go home will be worse. tv is my biggest distraction, plus i wanna spend quality time wif my mom... and relax abit after a long week away from home, and of course enjoy all the wonderful food she cooks for me... i oso see staying in hall a better option becos it gives me chance to see my dad whenever he sends me home and back to hostel. (u mayb puzzled why i haf to see my dad only at such times... well, its becos my parents ha divorced and lived separately, me wif my mom) but thank God for bringing dad to me so i could still keep in contact wif him... and it just makes my heart smile whenever i see mom n dad smile to one another when mom accompanies me down to dad's taxi (cos i go back hall super late, like past mid-night time). i'm just so thankful tat dad drives night shift so i can go back hall much later on sundays... ya.. so tat could be wad spurrs me to want to stay in hall, but oso mayb i can be more disciplined in hall? besides all the distractions, at least most of the time i can haf single delux since yx is at bf's room most nights... of course will miss home very much.. but at least it frees mom to do her own stuff n enjoy life instead of burdening herself to wait at home juz to cook my meals (she has alrdy done it most of her life raising me n my sisters up). but there's oso a concern over hostel fees - although my hall not raising the rate, but i think its still very expensive, hearing the amt my dad earns by driving only on fri-sun night shifts. altho he say nighttime got extra charge n less cars easier to drive, but having been on the streets at 1+am on way back to NTU, its rarely u see pple on the road flagging a cab... and he still has little son and wife to feed, i really felt a heartache whenever i thot of his situation as a consequence of wad he chose. so i really pray tat dad will get to meet many passengers... {so sumtimes, when u love someone and wans his/her life to be bless, i feel tat there's nth much i can do besides praying for tat person. and on the faith tat God answers all prayer, u can be assured of the hope placed on God. oso notice tat all goodness come from God, and tat when u experienced goodness, someone could be praying for u! :) }

as for school, everyone seems to be so busy wif projects, deadlines to meet and schoolwork to catch-up. even today during my course feedback session, i realised tat many pple are pretty stressed up over the memorising work for basics of tcm. its tough. in fact very. but when u learn to enjoy everythg, nth is a chore. prob i can still say this cos of my natural instinct of low energy level and slowness in respnding to everythg. to be frank, i think i juz lack the sense of urgency. i wld prob accord it to the peace from the Holy Spirit... haha... {i oso rmb tat i haf to put words into actions} but to be frank to myself, sometimes i'm scared i'm lying to myself tat my schwork is still fine, cos i haven really went deep enuff in my reading to further enhance my reading. progress is still slow. din really keep to time-table to still keeping it flexible... i dunno how to explain, but i can await a really hectic wk next wk wif extra make-up tcm lecs, and management presentation to prepare for... prob next wk when i blog if got time, i won't be sounding so optimistic and sane... haha...

i continue to trust and follow as you guide. may