EXAMS
EXtremelyAgonisingMoments


As some of you may have noticed, that is my msn nick for now…
Yes… being in the midst of the exams, and feeling bored of studying, I’ve decided to pen some thoughts here…

This exam feels a little different from my previous exams in uni… at least I dun feel numb or cant be bothered abt it… (yes… dun be surprised… its true that I’ve been rather unmotivated to study the TCM modules) for once, I felt like working harder (since its Bioscience modules) because I realised the grades do matter at the end of the day when I get the degree… but wanting to do well (and bring glory to God in my results), I guess the devil works hard too to bring me down…making me sick (very bad flu…) since the start of the exams. But still I see more of God’s grace for me in this… that for my past 2 papers, although I’ll be pretty sick the day before the paper, and I’ll pray hard that I can be fine when I sit for it… and praise God He never fails to make me well when I was doing the paper… just so amazing… but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the subsequent 3 papers… perhaps you may ask me why not see a doc? I think its not serious enough for the trip. Furthermore, I dislike eating pills during the exams…

As I’m reading, studying, and occasionally taking my mind off my notes to think, I think I’ve gotten perhaps a new revelation… and that is the meaning of surrendering the exam into God’s hands, acknowledging that He is in control. For some of you who might not understand, surrendering is not about giving up or giving in, but simply letting God take control of the situation (exams), and acknowledging that everything that happens is what He allows and wills… sounds stupid you may say, but I took quite a long time to understand this too… actually if you imagine, its quite apt. Everything is so unpredictable… how the exam paper will be set (some lecturers dun give hints at all, not even the format of the paper); how my results will turn out regardless of how much effort you put in; how lenient/strict the papers will be marked; how much ‘substance’ to put into the answers; how to strategise and manage time well to finish the paper, etc… sharing from personal experience now, regardless of how well I may feel prepared, there’s no such things as absolute anymore. for eg, studying very very hard for the exams doesn’t gurantee a good grade, because if its God’s will that I fail/don’t do well, I cant stop it from happening; ironically, I’ve experienced also that regardless how I tried to fail by not studying for some papers last few semesters, somehow by God’s grace I actually passed… you might be utterly shocked, but I’m telling the truth that it really happened. Haha. Last time I always cling onto the thinking that everything is within my own limits to make my results work, like ‘I reap what I sow’. I do still agree that its true, but I guess I’ve found a deeper meaning, and that is… God’s WILL will always be done, and He will never shortchange you…

Well, perhaps the best attitude for exams is to simply do your best and leave the rest unto the Lord… sounds simple, but sometimes its just difficult to apply…

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." .... For when I am weak, then I am strong...

My dear frens who are also in the midst of the exams, Jiayou!!! All the very best…..
And especially for those who never trusted God, maybe you may want to consider putting your faith in Him. I would say from the bottom of my heart that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life… There’s more purpose in living for Him than for myself, because He never fails to amaze me each time when He answers me…


Thank you for your cares during this period of time… though distracting sometimes, your miraculously timely sms always cheers me up... God just provides…when I needed someone… Thanks for just being there... Thank God for you! :)